Why the hipster threat should be taken seriously.

Don’t get me wrong, I love beards, I think it might be why I like Vikings so much, but this book shows what can happen ‘When Beards go Bad’ (I’m copyrighting that title, ahead of the inevitable Channel 5 special).

Stephen Collins writes about Dave, a man from a ultra-conformist town whose beard will not stop growing, and threatens to take over the area. After the usual efforts of cutting and military intervention don’t work, the only recourse seems to be to float Dave off into the atmosphere, but not in a cheery ‘Up’ type-way with multi-coloured balloons.

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There is a theme running through this book, literally, a piece of music that Dave listens to permanently. It is on his stereo at home, in his earphones on the way to and at work. This piece of music is The Bangles ‘Eternal Flame’. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why on earth that terrible song?’ but the mad thing is it played in my head the entire time I was reading, and I even found myself choosing to listen to it on Spotify since then.Β  It should really take me back to my school disco years, and slow dancing with Guy Williams, but now that song will forever be Dave and his beard to me. I’m listening to it right now as I write this, as it only seems right to do so.

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