OMG Clarissa, get over yourself

So, to recap, it’s the 1740s and Clarissa’s evil family want her to marry Wormtail from Harry Potter, whilst a man called Robert Lovelace, or Robert McHottie as I shall now call him, because I can tell, even from my standpoint of 250 years in the future, that he is super-hot, pursues her. But she wants to stay single. Write letters to people. Sew. *yawn*

Don’t get me wrong, single life is cool. I’ve been rocking the single status for over a year now and not looking to exchange convenience, lack of drama and absence of other people’s relatives for the opposite of those things any time soon, but then my parents aren’t foisting me off on a greedy, ugly man.

Anyway, her parents locked her up with the plan of taking her to her uncle’s house and physically forcing her to marry Wormtail. Her uncle’s house has a moat and a drawbridge, so really, no escape. Before being transported there, McHottie frees her, and takes her to a place of safety, sorts out clothes, suitable female companions to protect her honour, etc. But there she does nothing but moan about his motives. Even though he’s hot. Although supposedly the villain and a bit bad. But so very, very rich. And generous. And good with a sword. And rich. And hot. And probably smells nice. And hot.

I am 500 pages into this thing, there’s about 1000 to go. I swear if she doesn’t wake up and marry McHottie, I’m getting in the Tardis and going back there for him myself. I can live without modern plumbing.

Lovelace taking Clarissa way from it all. But in my head, he's not wearing pink. And has better hair.

Lovelace taking Clarissa way from it all. But in my head, he’s not wearing pink. And has better hair.

Sean Bean's at the gate and wants me to go with him. Fair enough.

Sean Bean as Lovelace. If he was at the gate and wanted me to go with him, well, fair enoughski.